im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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