there was a trapeze. enough said
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
