So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
