That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
