Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
