Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
