I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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