There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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