Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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