I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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