shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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