So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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