She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
