Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
