Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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