her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
