dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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