She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We're hate flirting, damnit.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
