adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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