You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
