My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
