Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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