she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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