I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
