Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
