Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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