Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
