I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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