dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
