My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize