Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
