batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
