But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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