He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
