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He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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