I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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