Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
as a side note pls kill me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
