This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
