She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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