you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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