whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
