if you like me you must not know who I am
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I touched a dick in church today
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
