I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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