Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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