I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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