So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
A+ Viking dick
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