My sheets look like a crime scene.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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