"it" just moved
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
