I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
