Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
That accounts for only three of the penises
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
