Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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