no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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