I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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