i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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