just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
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This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
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Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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