In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
