as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
