we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
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My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
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I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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