Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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