You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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