i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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