i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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